Trusting Your Heart
by tshlw
Summary: She knew him but hadn't she been betrayed before.


Spoilers for episode 5x05 Probable Cause. After seeing the new sneak peak I had to write this to make me feel better.

Thanks and hugs to Holly for reading over and correcting my horrible punctuation. You are the best.

Enjoy

**Trusting Your Heart**

She looked on as Esposito arrested Castle. On endless loop in her head repeated, "He didn't do this, he didn't do this, he didn't do this."

But wasn't that what she told herself when she found out Montgomery had been involved with her Mother's murder? Or when Royce lied to her and broke the law?

But this was Castle, the man she loved, that she spent the last four years working next to. He looked so flabbergasted when they showed up and searched his apartment. He looked incredulous that they had looked into his financials. He didn't flinch or stumble as he said it wasn't him. But the evidence, the fingerprint, the money, the jewelry. It all pointed to him as the killer and maybe a cheater.

Maybe that was the bigger issue. She knew he wasn't a killer but a small part of her still wondered about the page 6 playboy. She had too many thoughts running through her brain and couldn't fathom any of it as they lead Castle away to jail.

He had lawyered up. She understood why but when he wouldn't answer her questions she began to worry more. Was he hiding something? Did he know the victim? Again too many thoughts were assaulting her. But the one that kept popping up was that this was Castle, the man who had been by her side for 4 years. In good and bad times, there whenever she needed him and even when she thought she didn't.

She tried to talk to him while he waited to be arraigned. He had quietly growled, "What do you want Beckett?" Instantly taking her back to that night she showed up at his door, soaking wet. Had everything they shared the last six months been erased in one afternoon?

She couldn't believe this could be it. They had come too far and overcome so much for it to end this way. He wouldn't talk to her. Told her she was the cop on record and she shouldn't be talking to a suspect. All the time her heart was breaking a little more. Knowing his was doing the same thing, because she realized how she would feel if he thought she cheated and killed someone. Then it hit her, he would never believe it no matter what evidence they had. He would defend her to his last breath.

And that was the difference between them. He trusted people and believed in them. She always saw the worst and thought of everyone as a suspect. She had seen too much to believe that someone wasn't capable of murder if given the right motivation.

That thought stopped her in her tracks. What was his motivation? A romance gone wrong but other than a single piece of jewelry there was no evidence he even knew the victim. And when would he have had time to see her between working at the precinct and all the time they spent together. There wasn't more than a day a week they weren't together and she knew he spent a lot of that time with his daughter and mother. Secondly, had there ever been a story about him cheating? Yes, he had dated a lot of woman but never once a hint of him cheating. Third, he wrote mystery novels and worked with the police for the last four years. Would he be stupid enough to leave his prints at the crime scene or evidence in his office? He always joked about writing the perfect murder and this wasn't even close to that. Definitely not up to the standard of Richard Castle. Fourth and most importantly, she loved him and trusted him.

He had been released on bail. Never bothering to look at her as she sat in the court room as he was arraigned. She had a lot to make up for and she wasn't going to waste another minute. Beyond repairing their relationship they needed to find whoever was setting him up.

When he opened the door he didn't even bother saying anything, just walked back towards his office leaving the door wide open.

After closing the door and hanging her coat up, she followed him to the office.

Kate didn't know how to start the conversation. It didn't help that he wouldn't look up at her from his glass of scotch.

"Castle," she said, hoping he would look up. Nothing. She tried again, "Rick," hoping using his first name would get a reaction. Again, nothing. This called for desperate measures. Using her best detective voice she repeated, "Richard Castle." His head jerked up at that. The look in his eyes was so haunted she just wanted to hug him and tell him it would be all right. But she didn't know that for sure. They had no other suspects and a crap load of evidence against him.

"Castle, I'm sorry," was what popped out instead. "I know you didn't do it. I was just doing my job." That sounded lame even to her own ears.

By now he had put his head back down and watched the scotch in his glass like it held all the answers.

"Castle, look at me. I love you." That got a reaction. His eyes had now teared up and she couldn't help it as a single tear rolled down her cheek. There was so much more to be said but this was the most important of them all.

"Castle, I never truly doubted you. It's just that the evidence and…" He cut her off at that point.

"The evidence Kate? You believed that over me, over our history. They could show me a video of you killing the person and I still would not believe it. Or is this more the fact you don't trust me to be faithful?" She flinched at that and his eyes shuttered closed.

"Castle, I trust you. Don't doubt that. It's me I don't trust. I believed in Montgomery and he turned out to be involved in my mom's murder. I trusted Royce and he betrayed me and the badge. My track record with trust has not been very good. But I know you and know you wouldn't do either of these things. Yes, for a few moments I had my doubts. Not because I didn't trust you but because everything in my past has taught me to believe the evidence." At that she took a breath and saw she was making a dent.

"I love you. These past six months have been the happiest of my life since my mom was killed. You helped me get closure and to be able to feel alive again. No matter what happens I will be at your side and we will get through this together." She waited and hoped what she said got through to him.

He slowly rose from his chair and walked towards her. She wasn't sure if he was going to tell her to leave or that he loved her. The next minute she was in his arms and they were wrapped around each other.

"Why is it that when one of us tells the other we love them it has to be under such stressful conditions?" he asked.

She laughed at that.

"I love you, Kate, and I understand why but it still hurts to think you believed I was capable of murder or cheating. I didn't spend four years following you around to finally get you and to then cheat on you."

At that she realized how stupid she had been to ever doubt him.

"I know and I am so sorry I hurt you but know I love you and I am in this with you no matter what."

He finally smiled and she knew they had more to work through but, for now it was enough.

"So what happens now?" Castle wondered.

"We do what we do best together…we find the real killer."

They both smiled at that and got down to solving their newest mystery.

The End


End file.
